A warm little hand slides into mine as I press the button to close the van door. We laugh as we both shiver then scurry across the parking lot in a half run, half fast walk. We catch our breath as we reach the sidewalk leading to the school doors. He looks up at me, all rosy cheeks and big smile, and says, “You look beautiful, Mama.”
I smile back at him and say, “Thank you, baby.” But my mind almost immediately fills with thoughts of messy hair and a shiny face at the end of a long work day. I think of the old jeans I quickly changed into and the Christmas t-shirt I’ve been dragging out every December for years.
I later think back to the moment and wonder why I can’t just revel in the compliment. Why my mind can’t stay in that precious moment, but instead has to run away to some far less perfect one. Why I can’t ever seem to picture myself the way those beautiful blue eyes of that three year old so obviously see me.
He doesn’t care that my hair is messy. In fact, he often loves to make it messy and tells me he’s making me pretty. He never notices the oily skin on my cheeks and nose; he’s usually too busy grabbing the sides of my face to plant a big wet kiss on my lips. He has no idea how old those jeans and t-shirt are, as almost everything has been around as long as he can remember.
What he sees are the lines at the corners of my eyes when I laugh. He sees the sparkle in my eyes from a perfect blend of cold and moonlight and tiny random snowflakes starting to fall. He sees the way little strands of hair fall in my face as I look down at him. He sees me.
The self I see is viewed through my insecurities and lack of confidence and fears. I see myself through tired and worried eyes. Through the guilt of imperfect parenting and the regret of poor decisions.
That sweet preschooler sees me through his love for his mama. He sees me through eyes with tears that were dried by my quiet whispers and found sleep on my shoulder as I patted his back after a bad dream. He sees me through the comfort and safety he feels when that little hand slides into mine.
So I close my eyes and picture the me that he sees. I focus on that image and hold it tightly in the corner of my memory. Because the next time I hear , “Mama, you’re beautiful,” I want to see this version of me. I want to look down and say, “Thank you, baby,” and give him that smile I reserve for special shared moments. I want to see the beauty he beholds and revel in the beauty of that moment.
How wonderful! Not quite the same but I was playing a game with my son the other day and I said “Mommy’s just not good at this.” To which my 2 year old sweetly replied “Yes you are mama.” I immediately thought not really but to him I am. Our kids are sweet and honest and we need to believe them more.
How sweet Melanie! I love when little ones are encouraging!! We definitely need to listen to them more, don’t we?
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Oh I love this! It’s so easy to see ourselves through different eyes. As you said, they are typically eyes of judgement. I find my eyes encased in lenses of Comparison. Whenever I get a compliment of some sort I find myself saying, “Well, it’s not as good as…” It’s ridiculous! Somehow, as women, we have trained ourselves to be unworthy of anything complimentary. I’m not sure where it stems from, but it needs to stop! Truth be told, we all want compliments and validation. So to crave something and then be unable to accept it when it’s given is terrible.
Last night I was singing the “Sexy and I know it” song and dancing around with my kids, just being silly. I changed the words to,”Nate’s sexy and he knows it.” (My youngest son) and he was all giggles. Next he sang, “Mom’s sexy and she knows it.” When my 9 year old chimed in and said, “Mom is not sexy.” I assumed he was weirded out or something. His next response just about floored me. “mom your body is not sexy. You have a beautiful body. That’s better than sexy to me.”
Well, someone’s teaching that kid right. I thanked him, hugged him and I might have given him an extra shot of whipped cream in his hot chocolate;) We must learn to take praise because we’ve earned it and its ok to be acknowledged as something “beautiful”. And if we don’t learn to take these compliments people might stop giving them and that would be even more tragic!
Beautiful post! (Say thank you and accept the compliment;)
Vicky
http://www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com
Thank you so much Vicky!
And love your story you shared! Sounds like you are absolutely raising your kids right and to be such kind people! 
Aww, you made me want to give MY baby a hug, lol. I love when kids do this.
Visiting you today from Fun Friday.
Thank you – and thanks so much for stopping by!
What a tender loving post…thru the eyes of a child. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Enjoy these sweet precious moments as they are fleeting. Soon he’ll be asking for a phone and a car. The time goes by so quickly…revel in what he sees in you… A new follower from the Fun Friday Blog Hop. Would luv if you could drop by my blog as well.
Anne Marie
moanasuniquedesigns.blogspot.com/
Thank you so much and thanks for stopping by! Time does fly! I am already seeing that as I look at my oldest – who is six now – and wonder where the years have gone! Trying to soak in those moments I know I will miss some day!
How incredibly sweet. I hope you’ve taught us all to enjoy these moments and not to get caught up with negative thoughts, just to cherish our little ones and try to see things through their innocent little eyes sometimes. Thank you for linking with the Mommy-Brain Mixer this week.
Thank you so much and thank you for hosting the link up! I think we can all learn a lot by stopping and seeing the world through the eyes of our littles. They have such a different perspective, and one we can all use at times!